the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
