Heybabeimwearingurpanties
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
