My friends, they love my intelligence
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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