Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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