she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
