I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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