So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize