its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
