At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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