he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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