Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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