Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
