I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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