U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
