You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
