i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
