I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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