Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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