? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
