i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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