I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
