I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
