people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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