You just made me feel so damn special
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
