Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
