and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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