My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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