fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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