im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They took my balls.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
