you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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