i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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