Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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