he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
