Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
