I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize