He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
3 2 1 whiskey
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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