I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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