Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
