watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
