Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
