i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
