Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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