I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize