Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
