walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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