look no pants
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
