Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
