When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
