My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize