I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
