just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
