My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
