Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
