i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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