Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
