no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
