he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
