my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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