ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize