I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
