My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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