I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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