Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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