i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
