My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
