The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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