So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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