let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
