So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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