Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
