Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize