Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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